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insomnia.trade — private beta Guard on

If you can say it, you can trade it. It doesn’t sleep, so you can. Someone has to watch the 3 AM. The market never closes. Neither do we. Your strategy has insomnia. You don’t. We take the night shift. Wide awake. On your side.

Any idea, in plain words, becomes a working strategy — researched, stress-tested and awake 24/7. And because every move passes the guards, going bigger doesn’t mean risking it all.

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We can’t promise profit. We’re built to protect you from ruin.

Now you can —

One line. Six ways to finish it. All of them yours.

Guess which one we’re named after.

Become a quant.

The math degree is included.

Describe a strategy the way you’d tell a friend — any language works. The platform turns it into precise rules, shows you exactly how it understood you, and backtests it against real history: fees, slippage, the ugly weeks included.

Weak strategies don’t survive the test. That’s the point.

ChatGuard on
buy when everyone panics, sell when they calm down
How I understood youenter 2σ volatility spike, funding turning negative
size  max 10% of portfolio
exit  volatility normalizes, or stop −8%
+24%18 months
−11%worst stretch
1.7risk score

Run your wildest idea.

Insanity is free here.

The crazy version costs nothing to try: history first, then paper trading on the live market with virtual money. Iterate by talking — “more aggressive”, “add a volume filter”, “what if I only trade Sundays?” Every version gets tested, compared and kept.

Bad ideas die in the demo. Not in your account.

ChatGuard on
what if I short every coin Elon tweets about?
As described−34% over a year — the tweets pump faster than you can short them.
Safer versionAdd a 6-hour cooldown and a 10% stop: +9%, worst stretch −7%. Want it on paper trading?
martingale100× no stopall-insundays only

Read the entire market.

Become your own analyst — no Bloomberg terminal.

Every coin, every timeframe, funding, volatility, context — one question away. Not dashboards you have to decode: answers in plain language, with reasons attached.

Every trade stays explainable. “Why did you buy here?” gets the exact rule that fired.

ChatGuard on
why is SOL dumping while everything else is green?
Three reasons· perp funding flipped hard short 6 hours ago
· spot volume 2.1× average
· a 14M token unlock lands in 2 days
Want me to watch this? I’ll ping you next time the same setup starts forming.

Run money like a fund.

Several strategies. Zero babysitting.

Run strategies in parallel — a dip-buyer on ETH, a grid on BTC — 24/7 on our servers, executing the moment rules trigger. One portfolio view over all of it: PnL, positions, risk exposure. Your laptop stays closed.

Every order still passes the guards — even at 3:47 AM.

ChatGuard on
how did we do this week?
+$612this week · $24,180 total
panic-buyer
your sentence · live
+4.2%
ETH dip-buy
live · 14 trades
+2.1%
SOL grid
paused by guard · reason attached
0.0%

Be stopped in time.

The night desk that can say no. Even to the AI.

Funds have a desk that can overrule the star trader. Now you do: every strategy is checked before launch, every order re-checked live against your limits. The agent can’t touch the guards — only you can.

We can’t promise profit. We’re built to protect you from ruin.

ChatGuard on
triple the position size, I’m feeling it today
BlockedThat would put 82% of your capital on a single trade — one bad candle from wiping the account.
Safer versionCap size at 15%, add a 12% stop — return barely changes, worst-case loss drops 4×.
Loosening a limit
human-only action · by architecture
agent: no

Sleep.

The guards don’t.

All night, the watch compares live behavior to the plan. If they split — a soft pause, and a breakdown waiting by morning. Bad news reaches you first, with a reason — not as your morning balance.

Insomnia is ours. Sleep is yours.

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3:47 am · all systems quiet
22:0000:0002:0004:0006:00 YOU MARKET now

01:04 size capped · 02:58 grid paused · 03:12 order filled

You sleep. Insomnia doesn’t.

23:40 One principle

The guards — and four rules they never break.

Behind every “now you can” is the same quiet thing.

Code decides — not the chat.

The AI talks, builds and explains. Whether a strategy touches money is decided by code — and code can’t be talked into it, at 3:47 AM or noon.

the chat asks, builds, explains
the code decides what goes live

The bans are short and public.

A short list, published in full — and not up for debate.

averaging into a fall, no ceiling
liquidation one calm day away
the whole deposit on one trade

On demo, anything goes.

Including what we just refused — martingale, 100× no stop, all-in. The rules guard your money, not your curiosity. Break things here, for free.

martingale100× no stopall-in
all of it runs — on demo money

Safety isn’t for sale.

No plan unlocks a bigger limit. Real-money limits are earned by track record — never bought.

$1k$10k$50k

limit grows with track record · buy a bigger one

Every trade rides on strategy, testing and the guards.

24/7guards on watch, even at 3:47 AM
4hard rules the guards never break
0ways for us to withdraw your funds

01:15 The night shift

Under the hood.

The unsexy machinery behind every “now you can.”

Our servers, not your laptop

Strategies run on our infrastructure, around the clock, executing the moment rules trigger.

Connects to your exchange

Works with major crypto exchanges over an API connection. Your account, your terms — we plug in, not replace.

BCKO+9

Execution at machine speed

Orders fire the moment rules trigger — never doubled or lost when an exchange hiccups.

Your money never touches us

Funds stay on your exchange. We hold API keys only — we can trade, we can’t withdraw.

The kill switch is yours

Pause or stop any strategy instantly — by button or one sentence in chat. No lockouts.

From a sentence to a live strategy — in four honest steps.

01
Say it in plain words

Describe the strategy in your head like you’d tell a friend. No code, no jargon, no menus to hunt through.

02
See the spec-contract

Insomnia writes your idea back as a clear contract, so nothing gets lost in translation before a cent moves.

03
Pass the stress test

We backtest it and pressure-test it hard, measuring real return and real risk. Weak plans don’t pass.

04
Go live on your exchange

Approved strategies run 24/7. Watch, tweak or pause anything, anytime — by chat or by hand.

Ready when you are.We’re already awake.

The beta is small and hands-on. Leave your email — you’ll be among the first in.

Which one is you?

Free during beta · Early access · A direct line to the team

You’re on the list — we’ll be in touch the moment there’s room.

03:47 Answers at any hour

Questions worth asking.

No — and anyone who does is lying to you. What we guarantee is a risk engine built so a single bad call can’t quietly wipe out your account.

Never. Your funds stay on your exchange — we hold API keys only. We can trade, we can’t withdraw: the keys we ask for don’t carry withdrawal rights at all.

Not necessarily. Passing the guards means the downside is bounded and the logic survived real history — not that the future will cooperate. The checks remove ruin, not risk.

Yes — that’s the whole point. You describe the idea in plain words; the platform writes it back as a precise spec for you to approve. You never touch code.

On demo, anything goes — martingale, 100× with no stop, all-in. On real money the four hard rules hold, and your own limits are yours to set inside them.

Free during the beta. Early members get first access, a direct line to the team, and a say in what we build next.

You shouldn’t — not yet. So we built it so trust isn’t required: your funds never leave your exchange, we can’t withdraw, the banned list is public, and the kill switch is yours. Start on demo and make us earn it.

No. Your strategies are yours: we don’t copy them, don’t pool them, don’t sell your flow.